In today’s world, we are often intrigued by and drawn to seeing/watching sex, rather than learning more about it or understanding the importance of sex positivity. That’s why I am here. With fellow sexperts and sex bloggers around the world, we are trying to help you to find your sexual enlightenment and to share your journey and experience with others as a way to inspire others into find theirs. We all have different familiarity, practicality, and intimacy levels throughout our journeys. Some of us dig deeper to fully understand the ideas that are unfamiliar to us discussed in blogs, essays, articles, books, magazines, etc. that we read. Some of us just keep reading past those parts, not finding them intriguing or interesting enough to explore and being okay with not understanding them, because, well they are different to each of us.
I encourage you to research any topic you read about and are unsure of. Learn what that topic truly means. Allow yourself to open up and let that become a part of your journey. Education is a beautiful thing. The more we learn, the more we understand, the more we can hold a conversation about with others, the more accepting of the once unknown or undiscovered topics can then become. These understandings are tools for us to be more accepting and understanding of others and ourselves.
What is Sex-Positivity?
The best description I've found on what I mean by sex positivity and the impact it can have on us is wonderfully explained by Feminist Campus,”Sex-positivity is the belief that consensual sexual expression is both healthy and important in contributing to a safe and inclusive campus climate. Sex-positivity is grounded in comprehensive sex education, exploring and deconstructing gender norms, and promoting body-positivity and self-love. It fosters safe spaces in which different identities and sexual expressions are valued and bodily autonomy is paramount. Sex-positivity transforms our relationship with ourselves, each other, and our communities and can impact policy.”
Feminist Campus is an incredible website that has a plethora of information regarding sex and sex positivity.
Anytime there is negativity or taboo surrounding sex, it becomes complicated and can often feel like more of a chore than the wonderful and connecting experience it is meant to be. Whether intentional or not, when someone disagrees or frowns upon with another’s sexual identity or their own personal feelings and understanding of sex they enjoy, it leads to making them feel shame for their feelings and that is never okay.
We need to remain mindful that just because something that doesn’t appeal to us or even feels “strange” to us, if it works for someone else or it is a fetish or attraction for someone else then they should feel confident and comfortable in speaking about and acting on those feelings without feeling shame or regret for that being pleasurable to them. They may feel the same about our fetishes and sexual tendencies, but because they live their lives the way they choose and we live ours the way we choose, we can be positive and accepting of the differences.
We can and should inquire about our sexual differences and learn more about those desires we see as taboo or “weird” and better understand them and what about them works for each other. Who knows? We could spark an interest in each other to then explore those desires. “Don’t knock it until you try it”, right? More like “don’t knock it even after you comprehend it.” After learning about our individual turn-ons, you have the right to choose that it is just not for you and you can still support that it is for someone else.
Have you felt sexual shame before? I welcome hearing about your experiences so we may grow together. I, too, have felt the heavy discomfort that comes along with being vulnerable and I give you my promise that your identity will never be exposed if you ever feel safe to share your truth with me. As long as it is legal, consensual, and healthy, I will only and always support you and do whatever I can to help guide you to helpful and healing resources to feel as wonderful as you should feel as your wonderful self.
Kink On, Sinners!